Axiom’s Edge Science Fiction and Fantasy

By Sam Christopher

Rating: 2 out of 5 Stars

Third films—second sequels—are usually such a degradation or rehash of the original ideas that they have lost all vitality. Alien and Aliens are both fantastic films but Alien3 was simply a dreary remake of the original; even Spiderman 3, despite the massive amount of money it’s made, is not nearly the film that Spiderman or Spiderman 2 was. The third film of even planned trilogies is often a downer compared to the original, with The Return of the King (the final chapter in The Lord of the Rings cycle) being the most obvious example of this; it is a good film, just not the cinematic greatness Peter Jackson gave us with The Fellowship of the Ring and The Two Towers. So it was with trepidation that I went to see Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. And even more trepidation than with the aforementioned films because I thought the original Underworld was just all right to start with, and never even saw the second film Underworld: Evolution. It does, however, have the attraction of medieval setting so I decided to give it a chance.

The story opens with Viktor (played by Bill Nighy) touring the cells in which the Lycanthropes (and I’m guessing here there is a difference in name between the completely animal werewolves and the partially human ones) are caged and killing one who had just given birth to the Lycan we will come to know as Lucian (Michael Sheen). Viktor thinks about killing the babe as well but then decides to keep it so he can raise it as a slave with preternatural abilities who he will never give anything to do, other than use his bite to create other Lycans. Whom, in turn, the vampires will keep as slaves with preternatural abilities and never give them anything really to do. Lucian grows up, falls in love with Vik’s daughter Sonja (played by the incredible Rhona Mitra), there’s all manner of palace intrigues and battles and really cool poses before the end of the picture, which almost seems like a tacked on piece to tie this film to the original Underworld (which means the filmmakers here accomplished in two or three minutes what it took Arthur P. Jacobs et. al. two films to do with Planet of the Apes). All the way through I’m thinking they should make a Kull movie that looks like this.

The plot of this film was pretty much what I expected it to be. The story wasn’t bad really. The story of slaves rising up to throw off the chains of their oppressors, especially when those oppressors are as harsh and cruel as the vampires, is usually a rouser. The main problems, though, are with the vampires themselves. When we watch them, see the things they do, the way they do things, we’re left wondering how these clowns could ever become the top of any food chain. Their “warriors” stomp around in armor carrying their mean looking swords and bellowing orders to their slaves and yet we are constantly shown that Lucian and Sonja, together or separately, can take virtually all of them in pitched battle. After watching a few battle scenes the part where the two lovers are captured is nearly impossible to believe despite the superior numbers of the soldiers. More, all through the film you can’t help wondering why the Lycanthropes who live in the perpetually dark forests surrounding the vampire stronghold and prey on anyone or anything that enters those forests haven’t simply overrun the city. The soldiers could certainly do very little to stop them.

But the main problem with the film for me is the Council members and most especially Viktor himself. If the soldiers seem slow and muddleheaded, their leaders are even more so. These “leaders” rail constantly about the absence of one of their number, Sonja, wondering where she is and why she isn’t attending to her duties in the Council Chamber when it is obvious on even the most cursory examination that her heart and mind are far better suited to lead the defense forces. I realize that this is all about what Viktor wants for his daughter but that he can’t see where she’d best be utilized is just one more indictment of his ability to command, and the Council’s as well since they leave him in charge. In a rare moment of clarity a Council member comes forward with a plan to use Lucian and the Lycans as a defense force that can go outside the walls and battle their own kind on their own terms. Viktor dismisses the notion out of hand, preferring, apparently, to keep the Lycans digging for gold and blacksmithing. And Nighy just seemed kind of tired in this film to me. His performance at the beginning reminded me of nothing short of Bunny Breckinridge as The Ruler of the Universe in Plan 9 from Outer Space. Got a little better through the film.

I didn’t give much detail about the plot of this film in this review because I realize there are many who haven’t had a chance to see it yet and want to. Also, I have read several reviews that say this is the best of the three Underworld pictures, which I don’t get at all (I did think Resident Evil: Extinction and Day of the Dead were the best films of their respective trilogies so I’m not against the notion on principle). And I don’t mean to give the impression that I didn’t enjoy the film. I liked it for its atmosphere although the acting was rather flat and the story was hackneyed and derivative; I often had the idea I had seen certain things before, not sure why or where. It was much better than The Unborn and I did get to see a new trailer for Watchmen, which put me in a good mood right off. And, after another trailer I’m even looking forward—God help me—to Bay’s remake of Friday the 13th; did all right with Texas Chainsaw Massacre.